in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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