just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
