We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
