chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
