I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
