all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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