if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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