lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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