ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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