You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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