Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
