If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
