WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
