Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
