ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
