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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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• (323): View more from California

  I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.

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• (760): View more from California

  My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.

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• (278): View more from Michigan

  i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?

  (1-278): View more from Michigan

  and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?

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