He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
