Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
