how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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