Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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