I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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