Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got inside last night via doggy door
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
