check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
