Can Purell be used as lube?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
