i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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