Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just pee around me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
