Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
