Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
