Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will be naked everywhere
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
