My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
