i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
