hotel room ftw
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
