It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
