I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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