Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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