hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
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