just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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