I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
