he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
