Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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