that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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