I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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