i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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