WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
