i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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