yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Barsexuality is the new black.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
