i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
