Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
