Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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