Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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